Why does this keep happening to me?

Almost 50 and going through menopause. I go see doctors and they think I'm a nut. I'm on depression meds better not say a word to anyone about that 'cause then they'de really think I'm nuts, oops did that too late. Father abandoned me at 2wks old, nutty life, twin sister thinks I'm going to die every day and that is only reason she calls no basis for it, it's strange, tired of it, cute is over when it comes to being in one city and in the other was a rain shower and an accident on tv did you die? Nope can't come see ya, can't have family time w/you...Can I come over? no I;ve got too much house work... 6mo goes by, 8 mos goes by.... She acts loony toony and freaks out on anything I say, gets real serious and turns everything into a negative.... Same w/my mother who is an alcoholic and loves to put me down because I look alot like that side of the family I don't even know. She has emotionally abused me way too much and still does it. I keep trying to be a good daughter but the one who is so wonderful is the paranoid one... I never get a call where it's pleasant. So also I married a man I thought loved me, turns out he is a 40 yr old guys body w/mentalit of a 14 yr old. Never wants to talk to me, or read a book, everything is sooooo superficial I want to crawl out of my skin. I try so hard not to be mean to these sensitive people, but where do I ever get to be treated nice, or real!? I go to church and my kids sit there and pout. My husband can't wait for his nap.... He like to say, in a joking way "a crap and a nap and I do not need an audiance." I do everything around here and just grad. w/honors at a college and cannot find work since then, not even in fast food. We lost our home and are in bankruptcy, and my husband just works comes home and goes to bed. My kids are my wonderful life. We want to leave to hubby too, to south carolina there I'd be able to get work the employment is 7% my husband can be transfered. Better schools for kids, more to do w/them, I want them to go to karate lessons or something good! Lately, I've really been tryng to get stronger w/the Lord I'm a christian and boy when I do, satan is right there given me a hard time, my husband will start cussing and yelling all hell breaks loose. I've got trust issue w/the Lord sometimes because I see him as the big authority figure and not the loving figure I need to see, has to do w/my father abandoning me... So I reached out to other girls/women i've known in other churches too i've gone to and tell them to pray for this trust issue thing... What did they do, IGNORED ME... One I've known for 17 years before she even met her husband as an aquaintance she is, but still, I had her on facebook and what did she do.... Well she ripped me right off of there. But guess what, she is attending my church I told her about she said she didn't have one to really go to before she trusted... She is attending the same one I go to now, but IGNORING ME. It's really uncomfortable. I can't approach her I'm a big whim and am afriad of the cruel words I've heard so many times from sooooo many people. My husband thinks we should act all lovely and nice like nothing happened.... Forget my feelings or how this has hurt me. He never wants to discuss life issues w/me. He'd rather take nap. Now that we are getting closer to the possibilities of moving out of state to go to South Carolina I'm in CA..... I'm getting a twinge of guilt, and am afraid to leave behind my paranoid out of her mind twin sister who can't come visit me, but thinks at everymove I'm going to die in a car accident... and my 78 year old mother who will think that B* * * *! How dare she, she's planned this all along, I was right about her..... I've never been the one to really make these two people happy and am afraid of hurting them deeply... I don't want them to feel abandoned... Even though they never see me for X-mas, B-days, ignores my kids bdays, listen and gossip and say bad things to each other about me... That I am married I've got Shon my husband,,, "but she has no body" my mother says.....I am going nuts in this nutty world folks....I need prayers. Yes my husband and I are seeing a marriage councelor in our church, I just need a little bit of a lift, a little bit of encouragement, before I become a raging lunatic for the mere fact it is all so convaluted w/suspiciion and rudeness that I don't ever make.... I just want my kids happy, to lead a life God would want me to, and to be able to get sleep at night w/o this severe sleep insomnia from the pain and damage of life itself, not entirely done by me ya know. pls. help.